Why Its OK To Be Different
There are six billion people in the world but remember... there is only ONE YOU
Your self worth is determined by you. You don’t have to depend on someone to tell you who you are.
Ever since I can remember I have always tried to keep up with the “cool kids” and dreamt about being the popular girl in school. I know that I’m not the only one who struggled with the same thing but ever since I was a kid in primary school, and even more so in high school.
I was severely picked on and bullied for being weird, a loner, obsessed with Prince and Madonna, a witch (apparently I had a witches laugh… OK, whatever) and also because I had no tits (as flat chested as an ironing board I was in high school. LOL!). I tried for so very long to try to fit in and dress like the cool kids.
Even a couple of years ago, even still as an adult I would try to be like everyone else and be looking at all of the gorgeous bloggers and models, and try to copy the way they did their Instagram posts: the poses, the styling of the clothes, the flat lays… it all got to a point where I crashed and had to go off social media for a month to really look into my soul and finally face who I am, what is my style and love & accept my personality.
We now live in a world where more and more where we are bombared with gorgeous images of celebrities and super models with the seemingly perfect life: fancy cars and clothes, money to through away and where apparently that is the goal to achieve in life. And if you’re not like that, well you’re nobody really.
It’s no wonder why so many people get more depressed and experience anxiety and mental health issues.
I still go through moments where I still (unfortunately but not as much) compare myself to another blogger who is getting more likes, comments on every social media platform than me (seriously how can you not?), that I end up questioning myself and become my own worst critic.
I started to wish I was drop dead gorgeous, with a body to die for, with perfect teeth – basically just somebody everyone would want to know and hang out with…. I have stood in front of the mirror more times than I would like to admit, hating what I look like and just desperately wishing I was someone else.
“I don’t have to prove anything to anyone. I only have to follow my heart and concentrate on what I want to say to the world. I run my world.” Beyoncé
When I took that month of social media, I sat back, looked at my clothes in my wardrobe, looked at all of the books, CD’s, DVD’s I have collected over the years, went over old photographs and had a deep look at who I am and realised, yes I am weird and eccentric, a tad out there with what I’m into but all in all, I think I’m a pretty cool awesome chick, with a unique sense of style.
Sure I got into the blogging business a little later than others but I believe I have a unique voice and vision, and there is NO set age or time limit to have to achieve and follow your dreams.
I look at all the bloggers that I follow on Instagram and so many of them (no disrespect whatsoever to them – it works for them) are WAY too similar in the way they post their photos, style and wear their clothes, the presentation of their flat lays, the colour schemes of their feeds etc …basically they all (are a reflection) and resemble each other. And there is no way that I for one, can compete with that or even want to mirror the same style… it just doesn’t work in with my personality and nor do I want to lose who I am and be inside someone else’s vision.
Once I took that time off social media, I took away the pressure to have to compete to be like the popular gorgeous bloggers and decided to be me. It was like a weight had lifted off of my shoulders and the heaviness of the pressure (on myself) to want to be like someone else went away. I embraced… ME.
Sure I don’t get excessive likes and comments like most of the bloggers do but I am proud to be different, slightly left off centre – as they say.
It is all me: all of the quirky, arty farty, creative, pop culture, 90’s supermodel poser wanna-be, raw story telling from my heart posts, are ME.
I allowed my artistic vision and integrity to be incorporated into what I wanted to show on my posts on Instagram and on my blog.
I don’t want to be like every other fish in the sea, floating by in their large school group. I want to be that one fish, who probably has a bug eye popping out, with a spiky fin shorter than the other, looking abnormal but happy to be left behind the other fish while shaking my tail and singing out loud to Nsync’s classic song, ‘Bye Bye Bye’ instead of the latest generic Justin Bieber (sorry to all of the Beliebers out there) song. I know its a weird analogy – again that is me but I hope you get what I mean.
Why would I want to be another version of another person, who is like another person, who they are also like another person and so on and so forth. Nothing wrong with the minimalist, black & white, peach, baby pink etc etc colours inspired feeds on Instagram – but once you’ve seen one, two, three hundred versions, they all end up blending into each other and become boring. Thats when I click unfollow or scroll up for something more exciting. I want to see something different, I want to see – you. Why be a duplicator, when you are and can be – an original?!
Now don’t get me wrong,
I’m not saying at all you can’t be inspired by anyone.
Of course you can!
I know, I am!!
You will always be inspired by someone or something, that it will resonate within your spirit and soul, it will help you to discover further more about yourself and open your eyes to the world on another level.
But let me just say that there is a difference to being inspired than replicating (copying) another person.
Be proud of the person you are.
Own it!
Stand proud!
Be authentic and use that to grow and move ahead in life. Less time wishing to look like Kylie Jenner and more time on embracing the amazing and awesome you!
At the end of the day, in time people will respect, appreciate and respond more to you for being you’re own authentic self, staying true to who you are. So embrace it and use it to your advantage.
You are beautiful and there is no one like you.
OUTFIT I'M WEARING
Lace sleeveless top by H&M, boyfriend ripped jeans & lace-up heels by Zara, and jewellery by Bijou Brigette [ all pieces bought in Portugal]
Photography by Michelle Tulemija / location: Johnstone’s Park, Geelong – Australia
Erin Watkins Cohan
February 8, 2018You are beautiful!! I think this post resonates with everyone. I was made fun of in school for being too tall, blonde, being a tomboy – the list goes on. It is so freeing to love yourself for who you are along with all of your quirks that make you, you.
Style and Life by Susana
August 27, 2017Thank you so much for dropping by and commenting! Always take pride in being YOU. You are beautiful and fabulous, and anyone else that says that your ‘different’, ‘weird’ or anything else – well basically its just code for, they wish they could be like you. Never struggle in being you. Its perfect! X
Style and Life by Susana
August 27, 2017Thank you babe! Always take pride in being YOU. You are beautiful and fabulous, and anyone else that says that your ‘different’, ‘weird’ or anything else – well basically its just code for, they wish they could be like you. So keep being that amazing person that you are!!! Like Rihanna sings, ‘Shine bright like a diamond!” X
Flora Swann
August 26, 2017Girl, you are gorgeous! You’re so brave for writing this post, I can relate to it 100%! I was also bullied at school, people were always picking on me for being too skinny, too weird, too different… one time, I asked my best friend “am I really different?!” and she replied “you are very different!”. I cried my heart out when she said that… I really wanted to be like everyone else! It took years and years for me to get over the bullying, it’s really traumatizing! Now, I actually see me being different as a strenght, I take pride in being the way I am. That’s what makes us beautiful!
http://www.floraswann.com
Sarah Mills
August 26, 2017I love this post! It’s always great to read things like this, especially when I’m feeling down. It’s super important to be proud of yourself and who you are, and that’s something I used to struggle a lot with but now I’m finally realizing that I should just be myself.
Style and Life by Susana
May 10, 2017Thank you so much lovely for dropping by and commenting! You continue to be you amazing awesome self. You have a unique voice and I love that about you! xx
Britt K
May 8, 2017Love the look – I have a soft spot for black lace!
I also struggle with that from time to time. My look and my ‘online presence’ don’t match up with that traditional blogging appearance and it has made me question things occasionally. Luckily the more time I spend blogging, getting to know others and connecting with those that follow my blog the more I realize I don’t need to be like everyone else, I just need to be me and embrace it! Being different is exactly what makes me stand out from others, so its a strength, not a weakness! Thanks for sharing this!
Britt | https://alternativelyspeaking.ca/
Style and Life by Susana
April 28, 2017Thank you so much xx
mapolo cheoane
April 28, 2017Cool pictures, love the jeans and lace. Great combination
Style and Life by Susana
April 21, 2017I completely agree with you!! I think my photos are slowlyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy improving but I still can’t get it so crisp and the blur so right. But as time goes on with my blog, I’m getting more confident and speaking more and more from my heart, and show casing my true personality and individuality in my photos xx (but you are an inspiration to me,beautiful lady!! <3)
Style and Life by Susana
April 21, 2017Thank you so much lovely xx
Style and Life by Susana
April 21, 2017Thank you x
Tereza Cityscape Bliss
April 21, 2017Amen to that! I just like you sometimes struggle with the fact that I’m not like the other bloggers – those that take perfect outfit photos and everything looks so crisp and it has the right amount of blur and gets SO many likes and I’m here like erm why do I look the way I look dammit can someone erase that resting bitch face off me please thank you haha! But then you sit down and realise that it’s actually okay you’re not like all the other people because that’s the cool thing about ya. It’s much easier to say it to another person that to say it to yourself though! I love your style and your attitude and SASS – no one else has got that beautiful!! xxx
Kim Galeta
April 20, 2017I love the message and your shoes 🙂 So well done, congrats!
Style and Life by Susana
April 20, 2017Thank you so much babe, so lovely of you to say. Hugs to you xx
Style and Life by Susana
April 20, 2017Thank you so much gorgeous. You are truly a gifted, beautiful person inside and out, and inspiring xxx
Style and Life by Susana
April 20, 2017Thank you so much lovely. Sending hugs to you xx
Ana De Jesus
April 20, 2017Your right! You don’t need to prove yourself to anyone and more to the point you are gorgeous but you do not see what others see in you. I can relate to your narrative too, I was always worried about being seen as different. For the longest time I wished I was blonde and blue eyed but now I am a bit more comfortable in the way I look than before. By the way fierce photoshoot mama , keep being strong. Hope you are feeling better this week xxx
Lea H
April 20, 2017First off the pictures are stunning as so are you! I loved reading the post and I think we all should embrace ourselves and highlight the things that make us unique!
Lea, xx
http://www.asnippetoflife.com
Style and Life by Susana
April 19, 2017Exactly! And you are so fabulous, I love your blog!! xx
Sophia Whitham
April 19, 2017Aww I love this. I’ve always tried so hard to fit in too, I used to think “new school, new start to fit in” and it never worked. It’s taken me so long to realise that I can be myself and I still catch myself being critical about my image and body even now. The older i’ve got the more I love my weirdness, my quirks. They are what make us individual 😀 xx
Love Sophia xx https://sophiawhitham.co.uk
Style and Life by Susana
April 19, 2017Thank you so much for dropping by and commenting, and for your lovely words. Hugs xx
Laurali Star
April 19, 2017I love this post! So encouraging. I went through that too. Wanting so badly to fit in, to be one of the cool kids, but eventually, like you, I came to accept myself and now I love how weird and wonderful I am 🙂 Beautiful story. Thanks for sharing!
~Laurali Star